He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
