let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
