It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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