Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
