If i come over, it means nothing
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
