Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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