Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
