How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
