Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
