I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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