This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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