Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
