Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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