I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
