remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
