Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
