please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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