if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
