i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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