I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
