Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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