pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
