talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
