why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
