I'm jealous of your bromance
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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