YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
