quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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