i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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