then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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