Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
