is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
