There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
