I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The ass gains better be worth it
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