I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
