Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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