I got her a Nickelback box set.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
