ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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