She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Alive.
So much puke
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
