just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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