Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
