I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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