When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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