Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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