Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
