All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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