yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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