i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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