Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
