This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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