I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
