shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
