Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Randomize