Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
