Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woke up backwards on a recliner
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
