I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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