I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
