Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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