a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize