Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
