she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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