Dual....:-)
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
