She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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