Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
