how can u be prego again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
